I Know the Truth
by asparagus
Summary: On the eve of her wedding day, Arwen discovers the truth.


Title: I Know the Truth  
Author: asparagus  
Email: asparagus@iamwasted.com  
Rating: PG  
Summary: On the eve of her wedding day, Arwen discovers the truth.  
Spoilers: "The Return of the King"  
Warnings: Slash (A/L), Serious Angst  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings - the novels, movie, merchandise, characters, or plotline. In no way whatsoever am I profiting from this fictional piece - unless it's an ego boost from any comments you people deem worthy of sending my way. I also do not own the song, "I Know the Truth". It comes from the original score of Elton John and Tim Rice's "Aida".  
  
I Know the Truth   
  
As the moon shone, Arwen walked on the ramparts of Gondor's stronghold. Gazing at her surroundings, she marveled at how the moonlight changed the war-torn terrain into such a beautiful place. Yet, she'd found beauty in all she saw since she'd arrived at Gondor. How could she not when she was to wed its ruler?   
  
Patiently, she had waited for her wedding day. Now, only a single night stood between her and that moment. In the coming night, she and Aragorn would be man and wife with an entire lifetime ahead of them. For that one lifetime, she had forfeited her immortality without the slightest hesitation. Her brothers had wished her well with sad smiles on their lips, but her father refused to utter a word of approval or reproach. She knew that he respected Aragorn, but he did not want to lose her to death. Still, Elrond could do little else but accept her choice. And she chose love and mortality.  
  
Pausing in the shadows of a tower, she stared at the stars overhead. Some minutes of silent reflection passed before her sharp ears heard the sound of muffled footsteps. Remaining where she was, she waited to see who wandered at that late hour as she did. When she saw her beloved enter, she started to step forward. Then, another entered and she hesitated.  
  
~  
How have I come to this?  
How did I slip and fall?  
How did I throw a lifetime away  
Without any thought at all?  
~  
  
"I was afraid you might not come."  
  
"I almost thought not to. ...I thought we agreed that it was ended."  
  
"We did...but, I had to see you."  
  
"You see me all the time - "  
  
"But, it's not the same!"  
  
"Of course not. It's over."  
  
"Must it be this way..."  
  
"Yes...'tis the only way."  
  
"I know." A soft sigh.  
  
"Then, accept it. You swore your word and you shall stand by it."  
  
"To preserve honor yet lose love... I say that is no fair trade."   
  
"Perhaps. But, you are already promised to another. What has been done cannot be undone."  
  
"I wish - "  
  
"Do not wish for what cannot be." A stern rebuke. "Our time has come and gone. Let it go."  
  
"How can you speak such words...and in such a manner? Did I mean anything at all to you?"  
  
"I should not have come..."   
  
A whisper scarcely heard by Elven ears then a rustle of cloth as one walked away. A gasp then rushing feet. A firm hand grasped an arm.  
  
"I asked you a question yet you turn your back on me. Did what we have mean so little?"  
  
"No..." Softly spoken again. Then, louder. "Relief in harsh times. That was what we had."  
  
"Look at me when you say that."  
  
The slender form turned to face the broader one and eyes met.  
  
"You meant not - " A face paled. Then, panic replaced apathy. "...I cannot...I cannot say it... I should not have come...you should not have asked me to come. It should have been a clean break..."  
  
Moonlight glistened on tears that tracked down a pale cheek.  
  
~  
This should have been my time  
It's over - it never began  
I closed my eyes to so much for so long  
And I no longer can  
~  
  
"I'm sorry...so sorry. I did not know...I did not mean to pain you. I would never - ...I only wished to know if you loved me still..."  
  
"And what would you do with that knowledge?" A hoarse voice asked. "What good would it do? I knew it would just hurt us both so I did what had to be done. I let it end and distanced myself from you."  
  
"I had to know...to hear you say - "  
  
"What? ...That I love you? That I want to live with you? That it hurts me to think that tomorrow you'll be hers - body and soul - "  
  
"But, not heart, love...never heart."  
  
"...Perhaps not. But, you will be hers and nothing can change that. She will share your bed and bear your children...your heirs... And alas, the last I cannot give you."  
  
"I would never have asked them of - "  
  
"No. But, I know you would want them still...and you -need- heirs. You fought for Gondor. You cannot let it go with the wind after you pass on. Arwen would be able to provide heirs worthy of your throne. ...And both of us know that we were never meant to be."  
  
"How can you be so sure of that!"  
  
"I can because it's the truth. Even without Arwen, we could never be together. Other people would not accept what we have - "  
  
"I would't care what they thought!"  
  
"But, you should. You need them as much as they need you. They placed you on the throne and they can take you off it, too."  
  
"What if I were to give it up - "  
  
"No. That will not happen. First, I would not let you. And second... How could you after the blood shed for it? Gondor is in your blood. You were meant to rule it. You tried to deny it and yet look at you now. You are here. You are king. ...You were meant to be king...as you were meant to have Arwen as your queen."  
  
~  
I try to blame it on fortune  
Some kind of shift in a star  
But I know the truth and it haunts me  
It's flown just a little too far  
I know the truth and it mocks me  
I know the truth and it shocks me  
It's flown just a little too far  
~  
  
"And what of us?"  
  
"Aragorn... I thought we agreed that it had to end. It cannot be and there is Arwen to consider as well. You cannot break her heart."  
  
"You speak of breaking hearts - and it is true that I would never wish to hurt her so - but, what of -your- heart, Legolas? Do you think I could just stand aside and watch as -yours- breaks?"  
  
"It shall not break...at least not for as long as you love me."  
  
"Then, your heart shall never have reason to break. ...Although we can never be together, our love shall remain. This I swear to you."  
  
The words were sealed with a soft kiss. The two stood there in silence for a long moment, encircled in each other's arms and lost in their own world. Then, the golden-haired one gently eased away.  
  
"We must part. Morning draws ever near...and with it your nuptials."  
  
"Ah... It is as you say. Goodnight, Legolas...goodnight, beloved."  
  
The Elven woman watched with tears in her eyes as the two parted and disappeared into the darkness. She fell against the wall behind her and rested her cheek against the cold stone as tears welled up anew in her eyes. Choking back a cry, she let out a soft moan instead and collapsed onto the floor.  
  
Arms wrapping around her knees, she held herself close as her body shook with her sobs. So, now she knew the truth. She had suspected that something had changed when she saw him at the palace steps. Something in his eyes had been missing. And she had found it when he looked - not at her - but at someone she thought of as a friend. She wanted to hate the other Elf for taking Aragorn from her. Yet, she could not. For when it came to matters of the heart - be it Man or Elf - all were powerless.  
  
Still, she wished to lay the blame on Fate...or perhaps Legolas... But, Aragorn... She could not blame him.   
  
'Men are ever fickle of heart, Daughter.'  
  
Her father had warned her and yet she had turned deaf to his words. But, if she had known about them sooner...   
  
~  
Why do I want him still?  
Why when there's nothing there?  
How to go on with the rest of my life  
To pretend I don't care  
This should have been my time  
It's over - it never began  
I closed my eyes to so much for so long  
And I no longer can  
~  
  
Her lips twisted in a humorless smile.   
  
Because she knew the truth now...and yet it did not change her feelings. She would always love him.  
  
All her hopes for future happiness were now shattered. She found herself disillusioned and at a loss on what to do. After all, what could she do? She could not break her engagement without arousing suspicions. Questions would be asked and how would she answer them?   
  
And yet, if she did not stop things, what would happen? She would have to marry Aragorn. Marry the man with the knowledge that he loved another. She would share his bed, knowing he wanted someone else in it with him. She would bear his children, knowing he wanted ones of golden hair, not dark. She would share nights of passion with him and stay silent if he called out another's name. She would grow old with him and know that he wanted someone else at his side.  
  
She had forfeited her immortality for him and it had been for nothing. He did not love her. ...But, she would go on with the wedding. She would walk down the aisle and give her vows. She would bind herself to him for a lifetime.   
  
And for what reason?   
  
~  
I try to blame it on fortune  
Some kind of twist in my fate  
But I know the truth and it haunts me  
I learned it a little too late  
~  
  
Because he and the other hadn't just sacrificed their love for the people of Gondor...they had sacrificied it for her lifetime, too.  
  
~  
Oh I know the truth and it mocks me  
I know the truth and it shocks me  
I learned it a little too late  
Too late  
~ 


End file.
